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Khutba  #14

Status of the Muslim Family


May I ask you to hold to Taq’wa (which means piety and righteousness) and to view Allah with reverence and obey His Commands!  May Allah provide us all with the spirit of righteousness and obedience as best means for our salvation.

Let us choose wisely in this life and heed the consequences of our choices for the hereafter.  Let us be aware of our eventuality and departure into the everlasting life. 


Allah (swt) emphasized the mutual relation between husband and wife as if of a single soul but in two bodies.  Allah says in Surah 30 (al-Room), Ayah 21:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا

وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

“And among His wonders is that He created mates for you, out of your own kind,

that you may dwell in harmony with them, and He instilled love and tenderness between you. 

Verily in this are signs for those who reflect.”

In this Khutba we propose to discuss the status of Muslim family and how to preserve the Muslim family from predicaments and impropriety.  Nowadays the style of family life in the Western model is not a suitable pattern for it is beset with numerous problems.  The style of Western family life shows trouble in marital relations, infidelity, large scale marriage breakdown, high rates of divorces, separations, broken homes, alcoholism, drug addiction, and the like.  Though some Muslim families may show similar trends, the trend in Western families however is much higher.


The solution to this predicament is to maintain the Islamic values.  Islam builds the family on solid grounds capable of providing continuity, security, mutual love and intimacy.  To make the foundation of the family strong and natural, Islam not only recognizes the sanctity of marriage as distinctive, but also emphasizes it.  Marriage is a wholesome pattern of lawful intimacy harmoniously blended with decency, morality, and gratification.


Marriage and the family are focal points in the Islamic system.  Many verses in the Quran and many statements of the Prophet declare marriage to be a moral safeguard and religious social commitment.  For example, in Surah 4, (al-Nisaa), Ayah 1, Allah calls upon man to be dutiful to Him, for Allah has created them from a single soul and from it He created his mate.  The Quran in Surah 30 (al-Romans), Ayah 21 says Allah has created mates for us (from among ourselves) to seek mutual love:


وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا

وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةًَ

“And among His wonders is that He created mates for you, out of your own kind,

that you may dwell in harmony with them…”

The Noble Prophet (pbuh) is reported to have said:[1]


  النکاح سنتی  فمن رغب عن سنتی  فلیس منی

Marriage is my Sunnah [Way];

he who breaches my Sunnah is not of us



The aim of the Muslim family is the worship of Allah, as marriage is considered as a form of Ibadah (Worship).  If the aim of the family is sexual passion and worldly gains, then the family institution can fail miserably.  The responsibility of the family involves not only the husband and wife but also the children and grandchildren.  It is a collective responsibility involving all of them, together, including the grandparents.


A family can be a Muslim family in the true sense when the parents behave correctly and follow the Holy Quran and the Sunnah.  If parents do not live in accordance with the Quran and the Sunnah, they will not hope or expect their children to become good Muslims, unless there are other influences on these children. 

Imam Al-Saadiq advises about character and family in the following manner:[2]


▪    Seek livelihood by giving alms,

    guard your wealth by Zakat,

    he who is moderate does not become needy,

    by organizing yourselves you can improve your livelihood,

    loving one another is about half of all wisdom,

    small family is one of the ways to (securing) ease,

    whoever saddens his parents certainly is in subordination to them,

    favor is not favor but with him who has religion. 

    Allah (glory be to Him) sends down endurance according to the affliction,

    and He sends livelihood according to the provisions,

    whoever appreciates his livelihood, Allah gives him,

    and whoever wastes his livelihood, Allah deprives him (of that).


To preserve and maintain the Muslim family as such, a strong sense of belonging to the Muslim Ummah must be instilled in all its members.  The family is not an individual entity; it is a social collective entity, which must be strengthened.


A Muslim family must befriend and socialize with other Muslim families.  Parents must, no doubt, avoid associating with dishonest immoral people, and refrain from socializing in a wicked environment.  Besides, parents must see to it that their children avoid people of shady character and immorality, and to refrain from being involved in sickly environment too.  But at the same time parents must provide better alternatives for their children.  There can be no better alternative than befriending Muslims of high integrity, good character, and high moral fiber.  These are but a few ways to promote and preserve the Muslim family.  The Muslim family is in danger nowadays since the environment to raise children in is very unhealthy from Islamic point of view.  Parents must heed what is ahead of them and take preventive measures.


In conclusion, I fervently appeal to you to be aware of the Islamic heritage continuously.  Educated Muslims must apply the Islamic concepts of:  “think”, “contemplate”, “look”, “realize”, “know”, “become wise”, and “reason”.   Let us help transform these concepts of the Holy Quran and the Sunnah by practicing them in our family life as well as in our daily life.


For the end of the 1st part of the Khutba, read Surah Al-Asr, take a short intermission, then start the 2nd part of the Khutba with a short Du’aa.


In Islam the house is a unit in the greater organization of a nation as a whole.  The house speaks of husband as “the overall administrator and supervisor over the people of the house”.   The home is exercised by both husband and wife, but unless one of them is made responsible for the welfare of the entire household, peace, harmony and happiness are bound to be compromised.  This may result not only in misdirection, but also in confusion of the relationship among the family members.


Since we are talking about Muslim family as such, let us discuss the matter of modest dress and Hijab on the one hand, and the matter of intoxicants on the other.  Islam tries to maintain high values in societies, though many societies are becoming corrupt, increasingly so.  Millions of Muslim women do dress simply and modestly, according to the customs of their particular country.  In Islam, in order to preserve the moral life and to safeguard the uprightness of the society, free mingling of the sexes has been prohibited.  Islam affects an equitable and a functional distribution between the sexes, and sets different spheres of activity for both of them.  When women go out of their homes, they should wear conservative dress and be properly attired with Hijab.  In this regard Allah says in the Quran Surah 24 (al-Noor), Ayah 31:


وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا

“[O Muhammad] Tell the believing women to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity, and not to display their charms [in public] beyond what [decently] appears


Along with this, men too have been asked to keep down their gaze and not look at women with lust.  The Holy Quran says in Surah 24 (al-Noor), Ayah 30:

قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ

“[O Muhammad] Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be mindful of their chastity.  That is purer for them. 

Verily Allah is aware of all that you do.”

It is the obligation of both men and women to be in charge of their morality and purge their souls of impurities.  Marriage is the proper form of sexual relationship.  For the same purpose it is enjoined that proper dress be worn.  This is technically called Sit’r (proper cover from lustful eyes); and to keep these parts covered is the religious duty of every man and woman.  Through this Directive Islam aims toward preventive measures, to preserve honor and decency and at the same time to prevent trouble.  Islam cultivates a deep sense of modesty and purity for its members, and simultaneously attempts to prevent all forms of moral deviation or deprivation.


Islam regards knowledge and science as the common heritage of mankind and a Muslim has absolute liberty to acquire the knowledge whatever the sources happen to be.  However, when it comes to culture and the way of life, Islam forbids its followers to imitate any haphazard or indecent modes of living of other peoples. A Muslim is born to become a living symbol of goodness, nobility and humanity.  He should win the hearts of people by his good character and good example. By being so, he can become the true ambassador of Islam.

Children in America and Western countries have been told repeatedly to “just say no” to drugs and alcohol.  Yet and despite this, thousands of children try them each year.  As Muslims we know that intoxicants of every kind are forbidden, because Allah tells us in the Holy Quran in Surah 2 (al-Baqarah), Ayah 219:


يَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْخَمْرِ وَالْمَيْسِرِ قُلْ فِيهِمَا إِثْمٌ كَبِيرٌ وَمَنَافِعُ لِلنَّاسِ

وَإِثْمُهُمَا أَكْبَرُ مِن نَّفْعِهِمَا

“[O Muhammad] They ask thee about intoxicants and games of chance.  Answer: “In both there is a grave sin as well as benefit for man, and the evil is greater than the benefit they bring.”

In Islam every intoxicant is forbidden.  We must talk about this matter to our children.  If we do not educate them in this matter, our children can fall into the traps of this society for they are open and vulnerable.  We must explain to them that drugs will hurt them physically, emotionally and educationally.  Physical harms include: aids, slowed growth, impaired coordination and accidents.  Allah says about harming and destroying the self, in Surah 4 (al-Nisaa’), Ayah 29 as follows:


يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ لاَ تَأْكُلُواْ أَمْوَالَكُمْ بَيْنَكُمْ بِالْبَاطِلِ إِلاَّ أَن تَكُونَ

تِجَارَةً عَن تَرَاضٍ مِّنكُمْ

وَلاَ تَقْتُلُواْ أَنفُسَكُمْ إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ بِكُمْ رَحِيمًا

“O you who believe! Do not devour each other’s property unlawfully, but trade by mutual consent; and do not destroy yourselves; behold, Allah is the dispenser of Grace unto you!”

As to emotional harm by using drugs, they not only comprise the senses but also harm the mind and willpower, making the person a slave to the drugs.  Explain to them that Allah wants them to be wholesome and capable of controlling their desires.  Drug use will mess up their lives, inhibit their ability to learn, or to remember the Quran, let alone remember to perform their prayers.  Allah says in the Quran Surah 4 (al-Nisaa), Ayah 27:


وَاللّهُ يُرِيدُ أَن يَتُوبَ عَلَيْكُمْ

وَيُرِيدُ الَّذِينَ يَتَّبِعُونَ الشَّهَوَاتِ أَن تَمِيلُواْ مَيْلاً عَظِيمًا

“Verily Allah desires to turn unto you in Mercy; whereas those who follow their lusts would like you to deviate from the right path.”

Let us ask ourselves about our family relationship and its structure:  Say to yourself:

    Have I practiced the principles of Islamic family living, character, and the morals?

    Have I done well with my wife and children?

    Have I observed the rights of my wife and children especially in the Islamic morals and good conduct and teaching and doing the common good?

    Has my family avoided sinfulness or were they taught to do so?

    Have I taken my family to the Islamic societies or organizations in my town to let them be part and parcel of the Muslim Ummah around?

    Have I taught them about proper conduct and proper dress as Islam teaches?

If the answer is no:  then what methods do we need to correct the situation?  May we endeavor to put to With Allah’s help we might, insha’ Allah.


Finally, let us read Surah Al-Nasr with a short Du’aa to close the Khutba.


[1] Bihaar Al-Anwaar, Vol.103, Page 220, Hadith 23.  Also Bukhari Volume 7.

[2]  A-Saadiq, Section of Sayings, Saying #451. Published by Islamic reference CD.


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